Pull back the layers What would you find Mining to the depths Drilling down to the recesses of my mind As we dig deeper and deeper Can my soul be truly free Yet honestly still, when I go there Is that what I even need? I weep in my pillow I cry out in the dark Would anyone hear? Would my questions cause a spark... Run, Trace. Toil, Race. Go Back back back The ever-needed therapists say Whatever uncovers your innermost self That's where you'll find your way Get Ahead ahead ahead The ever-spinning world will tell Climb that ladder To whatever will get you there to 'give them all hell' But that’s not really what I want I know rest won't be found in the answers Rather maybe just to know, is there someone Who will hold my broken pieces like reconciled treasures? This can't be the only way I call it all a bluff Though yes, some of it- the reflection, the fight- is needed Yet no, it’s all never, will never, be enough So now, I'm still none for the wiser When I lay me down to sleep Can I let go of all I don’t know Vacillating insecurities piled up, one big heap Lord, do you recoil at my disease of chronic striving Rebuff at my questions? I think, surely you roll your eyes at the doubts My spiraling another wall between us when my freefall happens Or... is there, could there be an indelible tether that will hold me fast ...whatever the weather?
You beckon me nearer Already sitting with me in this exhausted wear and tear Beckoning my buried pieces All before you to be laid bare I take unsteady steps And merge forth from my condemnation Strangled breath releasing into your grace, your love Choosing, grasping to your firm foundation You redeem my past, present, and future My beloved, gentle Father True freedom found in King-turned-servant Your mercy flowing over me like an everlasting river Oh, thank you God I don’t have to always be Because I remember what already is My full, shaky confidence in Thee